Life Transitions Can Be Messy…
In a society that glorifies resilience, progress, and “bouncing back,” we often hear messages like “just move on” or “leave the past behind.” While moving on and leaving the past behind can be valuable… often, this is done at the expense of allowing space for reflection and growth.
Real-life transitions are nonlinear, messy, and deeply personal. Whether it’s a job loss, the end of a relationship, or a life pivot—expected or not—we’re frequently encouraged to focus on “what’s next” rather than allowing space for reflection, growth, or grief. What if the healthiest way through life’s transitions isn’t about charging ahead? Rather, what if it’s about slowing down to honor what’s ending before stepping into the uncomfortable middle space or the uncertainty of what’s next?
Honoring Endings
Research shows that people who take time to acknowledge and honor what’s ending navigate transitions with greater emotional clarity and resilience. This can take many forms: reflecting, storytelling, journaling, writing farewell letters, or engaging in symbolic gestures that hold personal meaning.
Embracing the Messy Middle and New Possibilities
The messy middle often brings uncertainty, fear, ambiguity, and resistance, challenging the cultural norm of quick solutions and clear progress. Yet, even in this discomfort, there is potential for profound self-discovery in allowing ourselves to sit with ambiguity. Research on life transitions shows that those who lean into ambiguity—rather than resisting it—often emerge with a renewed sense of identity and purpose.
This space of uncertainty isn’t just about letting go; it’s also about opening up. New possibilities begin to take shape when we allow ourselves to explore, experiment, and reimagine. Similar to honoring endings, this might involve reflection or journaling, spending time in nature, deepening connections with others, or exploring something we've been curious about and haven’t yet pursued. This space can also reveal something entirely unexpected—an insight, an invitation, or an idea that wouldn’t have surfaced without embracing the unknown. Transitions are not just about what we leave behind, they’re also about what we make room for. By staying present in the in-between, we create space for possibilities we may not have imagined before.
Personal Connections
For many years, my reality was the “just move on” mindset, which was ingrained in me at a young age. As a young person, frequent relocations due to my father’s job losses meant constantly starting over. I never questioned it. Each move felt like a fresh start, a chance to make new friends and begin again. I never stopped to acknowledge or consider what—or who—I was leaving behind. Nor did I recognize the messy spaces between leaving and beginning again, how much of myself I was leaving behind with each move, or who I was in all of it. This pattern followed me into adulthood…
Ten years ago, after previous relocations, my husband and I relocated again, and the experience felt devastating in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I had moved so many times before, yet this time I couldn’t just push forward without looking back. Who and what had I left behind? How much of myself was still tethered to the place I had been? And if I kept resisting where I was now, what would that mean for who I was becoming? I realized I had been moving through life without truly acknowledging the losses or the transitions themselves—without pausing to ask if I was living in a way that aligned with who I wanted to be and how I wanted to show up and move about in the world. Over time, and with a lot of personal work, what once felt devastating revealed itself as an unexpected gift. I had space to slow down, reflect, and align my life with what felt true and meaningful for me. This is ongoing work…
Invitation
As we navigate life transitions, I offer an invitation toward curiosity, grace, and intention, normalizing uncertainty, and meeting ourselves with greater self-compassion. It may be helpful to consider questions like:
What do I need or want to release?
What parts of my identity am I carrying forward?
What possibilities are emerging?
What new things might I want to explore?
Join Us
I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to walk alongside individuals and groups on this journey of being human and navigating life transitions—honoring the complexity of change, witnessing the unfolding, and holding space for possibilities, becoming, and authentic transformation.
My colleague, Wendy Williams, and I are offering another What Now? Circle for connection and exploring life’s transitions. Consider joining us on this transformative six-week journey, connecting more deeply with our inner wisdom and our true selves and connecting with others as we navigate this space of life transitions in all its messiness, uncertainty, and amazing possibilities.
